Monster
by Regas 27
Summary: The secret side of me, hid under lock and key, won't someone save me from this monster I've become? Don't look at me, the beast is ugly, the nightmare has just begun… Kaka-x-Saku Rated M for Violence, Language and Sexual Situations in later chapters
1. Prologue: Naive Thoughts

Monster:

Summary: The secret side of me, hid under lock and key, won't someone save me from this monster I've become? Don't look at me, the beast is ugly, the nightmare has just begun…

A/N: - This has been plaguing me for literal months, so now I'm going to write it. I've written so many versions its crazy, but I think this one is the best so…enjoy!

- I'm dropping Shift, it's just not working, as well as Taking over Fear, it's seems to be at a road block. I'm sorry to the fans of those particular stories; I'll probably edit them and post them later in the future. Three is on Hiatus, and Trippin' Over You isn't going quite as planned, expect it later this year.

~xxx~ Prologue: Naïve Thoughts ~xxx~

He was an animal, which had wreaked havoc over the village in which he was sworn to protect. Konoha had lain in ruins at his feet, his heart stained with the guilt of destroying his home and the home of so many others.

He was a raged beast, crushing, killing, and destroying everything that crossed his warpath. The blood of those who had crossed him had stained his clothing, his skin, and the silver locks of his unruly hair.

He was a mad genius, with enough cunning and skill to be the person that got closest to killing his marked target. The Kyuubi Holder had lain in the hospital, breathing and eating through tubes entering and exiting his mangled body.

Kakashi Hatake was a monster.

Sakura Haruno had always learned that you never caged a wild animal, in fear of it retaliating. She'd also learned that if you couldn't break its spirit, you killed it. IF you set it free, it would only return to its rabid state and terrorize people than it had to begin with. So now she sat in fear of what Kakashi's animal would do. Would it retaliate, or break? Would he have to be killed? Would they set it free on the slight chance that he might turn himself around?

It made her sick to her stomach thinking that he could be killed. He'd promised to protect Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke with his life, and he'd never gone back on that promise, he'd saved their hides more than once.

She remembered the land of waves, and their very first B-ranked mission together, stupid Tazuna had been too cheap to actually mark it as such, but Sakura remembered how noble Kakashi had seemed when he'd found out. He persisted on taking them back to the village, to keep them safe she knew; it hadn't been because he'd doubted them, like Naruto and Sasuke had thought. She remembered when Zabuza attacked them; that's when Kakashi had sworn to protect them at all costs.

So she felt useless in the fact that she couldn't save him.

For the most part, many people assumed he was dead, killed by ANBU in their confrontation on top of the Hokage Monument. She knew it wasn't the case, only for the fact that the Hokage was her best friend, and long time teammate. Many people considered him a traitor to the village, and were happy for his demise. She didn't understand exactly why they thought that. He'd fought, tooth and nail for the village; his blood had been shed on so many fields of battle that he seemed more earth that human. Or more animal, as people said.

Sakura didn't quite understand why so many people hated him. So he snapped? Every one had a breaking point. Sure, he'd destroyed half the city and killed people, but considering his situation, he'd earned it. Naruto held no hard feelings, though the elders, including Tsunade thought it better that they cage Kakashi.

"_He's safer to himself and the people of this village if he's isolated,"_ The former Hokage had said. "_It's a precaution."_

She glanced down at the small silver spoon in her hands and dropped it in the bowl of miso soup staring up at her. She couldn't eat. Even the smells of the small buffet made her feel nauseous.

She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on the cool, polished wood of the table and sighed. Her life was falling to pieces.

What with Kakashi locked up in a triple-max prison, and Naruto rolling around in a wheel chair still, she seemed to be the only one that nothing ever happened to. It was like she was meant to sit around and watch as the people she loved and cared for perished and struggled.

She looked out into the street next to the small shop she was in and watched as a little boy tied his dog to a bike rack outside a game store. Poor thing, it shouldn't be left outside on a cold day like this, Sakura thought. She blinked as an idea hit her.

If the dog didn't deserve to be tied up, why should Kakashi? She could bust him out. She was smart enough, and she was a good enough liar to slip past the sentries and even some of the ANBU.

Sakura stood up and pulled a few dollars out of her pocket before tossing them on the table and leaving to ready her plan. She could do this. She could do something dangerous with out any one else's help, she would free Kakashi.

She hurried down the street, trying to not seem near as happy as she was in the twenty degree weather. All she needed was attention drawn to her to blow everything she'd just worked up in her head. She was going to free him. She was going to free the monster that everyone feared so much, the monster that she knew at heart, was nothing more than the sweet man he tried not to be.

Sakura nodded to the doorman, Makoto, at her apartment when he waved his happy greeting and scurried up the stairs knowing he wouldn't ask questions as to why she was so damned cheery.

She needed to write everything down before it left her. When she came to her door, she fished around in her pocket for the key, pulled it out and jammed it into the lock with a quick turn, and the door was opened and shut.

She ran into her kitchen and pulled one of the notebooks she kept in the storage cupboard down and opened it. She leaned over to her table, snatched a pen and began scribbling on the first blank page her idea's for Kakashi's break out.

"Shit," she muttered to herself.

She'd have to find a way to let Kakashi in on the situation. Her first problem was getting in to see him, the rest would be easy.

He'd taught them complex signals and signs when they were his genin in case they couldn't speak with one and other. Only Team Seven knew those codes, he'd assured them, and if that were true, then they had their means of communication. Now she just had to remember what exactly those signals were…

She took her notebook and pen into the livingroom, and started writing out the signs she did remember.

She knew what her left hand grabbing her right wrist meant, he'd taught them that early on as it meant _I'm in trouble_. "Come on, Sakura, you have to remember this stuff! You were the star student…" She told herself, trying to coax her brain into remembering.

She looked down at the words on the paper. She grabbed her right wrist and shook her head. She didn't remember anything but that.

She tossed the notebook and pen onto her coffee table and got up to get herself something to drink. Perhaps some warm tea might jog her memory? It was worth a try.

She sauntered into her kitchen, frustrated that she couldn't remember. She pulled one of her coffee mugs down from one of the cabinets, and a packet of peach tea. She set them on the granite counter top and went to fill her tea kettle.

She set the kettle on the stove and bent over to count the number of clicks before the gas stove lit. She put the small peach-tea packet in the cup and left the kitchen to find her sweater. Her heating was on the fritz, making it even colder than usual in her small apartment.

She found it laying on her dresser and pulled it on ignoring the fact it was a size to big for her. She liked baggy sweaters; they were more comfortable, and easier to maneuver in should the reason arrive.

Sakura jumped when the kettle whistled and went into the kitchen to shut off the stove. She turned the knob to 'off' and made sure the flames had gone out before taking the kettle off of the range. She watched as the steaming water was poured into her mug, and she watched as the tea leaves colored the water with a billowing warm orange color.

She inhaled the sweet scent, and sighed as it relaxed her. She watched her hand as she bounced the bag in and out of the water; trying to get all of the flavoring she could out of the little bag.

Sakura smiled as she walked back into the livingroom to sit down. She sat back in her easy chair and sipped at her tea, thinking through her devious rescue mission.

"Yes!" she remembered what the sign for rescue was as she scratched the back of her head. Kakashi had always seemed to do that in awkward situations, and she remembered the day he had told her it was a rescue technique of his. "Kakashi, you sly bastard."

She started laughing to herself. She might be able to save him after all.

~xxx~

This is just to give you a bit of background, and tell you where the story is heading. I hope you liked it, or at least the idea and that you stick around to see what happens.

I am also looking for a beta for this one, as I could really use the help of someone that I can bounce ideas off of and someone that would be willing to help edit.

~ Regas


	2. Count Your Blessings

Monster:

A/N: Thank you all for the kinda reviews. It means a lot. I'm sorry if the end of this chapter is lacking a bit, I wasn't quite sure how to word a couple things, any-who, enjoy.

~xxx~ Chapter 1: Count Your Blessings ~xxx~

Kakashi held his knees to his chest, and counted every breath, relaxing himself as he stared at the cold, stone wall of his cell. He counted every drop of water, and every second that the wall dripped. He counted how many steps the guard took from his cell door to the one across the hall, and he counted the number of people that spoke in an hour.

Numbers were his only friends now, keeping him company in the cold cell he now called home. Three months seemed so long when the wide open freedom you once had was now a ten-by-six rectangle of rock and reinforced steel.

Kakashi held his hands out in front of him and stared at the metal bracelets blocking his chakra. Why should he care about escaping anyway? It wasn't like the village was going to welcome him back with arms wide open. He'd killed people, he'd slaughtered families, he'd destroyed homes, and worst of all he'd nearly killed one of the few people he'd promised to protect with his life. It wasn't even his fault. He had no idea what'd happened, all he remembered was being attacked by ANBU on top of the monument; when they told him why the village lay in ruins, he'd nearly cried. But he hadn't denied that it was he had had done it.

Not one person had come to see him since the attack, and he truly didn't blame them. Why would they want to see such a monster?

He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on his knees, and didn't move when the guard spoke to him.

"Hey, Hatake?"

Kakashi didn't answer; he just sat there holding himself together. He counted his breaths, the number of seconds before the guard spoke again.

"Hatake, you got a visitor."

Kakashi picked his head up slowly and look to the right of the guard where a woman stood; her viridian eyes peering through the bars, her pink hair standing out against the dark pastels of the prison.

He felt his heart flutter as he scooted to the edge of his bed. "Sakura?"

"Hi, Kakashi." She whispered as the guard left to patrol down the hall. She smiled at him, "Long time no see?" Sakura watched as he stood up and walked across the small cell to come face to face with her, the only thing separating them being the damn bars of his cage, as he so kindly called it.

He wiped the tear from his eye, "You have no idea how happy I am to see you."

"Yeah!" She laughed heartily, her hand scratching behind her head. He had to notice, he just had to!

Kakashi's eyes focused on the arm going behind her head with surprise before he smiled at her, with that common eye crease, "So how is everyone?" He asked with false interest as the guard walked by, talking to himself on the matter of shinobi solitary confinement. When he was past, Kakashi looked at Sakura, his smile gone, he cocked his head to the left, _when?_

She shrugged, "Their alright, I guess. Naruto is still in the ICU." She sighed, "You fucked him up good…"

Kakashi hung his head, "It wasn't me, Sakura."

She cocked an eyebrow, "People watched you do it."

Kakashi leaned forward and wrapped his fingers around the bars, "I didn't do it." He deadpanned. "It wasn't me, Sakura."

She leaned in closer, "I know."

He rested his forehead in between two bars, "I don't like it here. It's cold, dark, and these restraints…" he held his wrists up, "It hurts."

All she could do was look at him sympathetically, "I'd heal you if I could, but it would set the alarm on your blocks off."

He nodded, and stayed silent. He listened to her breathing, counting every inhale and exhale. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Believing me."

She smiled at him.

"It's time to go, miss."

"I'm coming," Sakura called back to the guard, as she looked back up at Kakashi, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"If you can get past the guards."

She waved goodbye as she left. Kakashi went back to his bed and scooted to the corner of the wall again; his knees pulled up to his chest, and went back to counting the seconds.

Ash grey eyes shot to the bars of his cell as the inmate across the way started calling to him.

"Who was the bitch, Hatake?"

Kakashi didn't answer as the man rambled on. _One…_

"She looks like the whore I killed! Yah gonna kill her?"

Kakashi began to breathe deeper, counting each second of each breath, trying to calm him of the pool of rage starting to fill him_. Two…Three…Four…_

The man sneered, "Yah hitting that then, huh? She any good? I bet she's a screamer, huh?"

Kakashi started panting, trying harder than before to control the rage pooling inside of him. If that bastard didn't shut up, he was going to kill him. He'd make sure he suffered for the words that fell from his mouth. _Five…Six…Seven…Eight…_

"If you get tired of her, "I'll make her scream for yah. Hell, I'll make her cry if yah want me too!"

Kakashi leapt from his bed to his bars, his arms reaching though as he yelled and swung blinded red with rage. He snarled and growled, dropping curses like a storm dropped rain as he swung his arms wildly through the bars of his cell.

The inmate recoiled to be the back of his cell as he watched kakashi's onslaught of anger. Kakashi's hands gripped his bars, and he pulled and pushed, back and forth trying anything to gain some room to move. The bars wouldn't budge and he turned and started punching the walls and tearing his bed from the floor, the heads of the nails pinging around the cell as he tore it up, and tossed it against the damp stone wall.

"Hatake!" A guard called through the bars, "Calm Down!"

Kakashi lunged for the bars, his hands wrapping around the neck of the guard. He dropped the man when he stopped struggling, and went back to destroying his cell. Using the broken metal post of his bed, Kakashi started beating the walls, raging like the animal he was.

The guard that had led Sakura in fell to his comrade's side, calling in for back-up through his COMM system, "This is Officer Sari, I need back up on level three, we've got a possible code blue! Hatake is going nuts down here!"

~xxx~

Sakura looked over the maps sprawled over her coffee table and living room floor. There were so many complex systems of vents, air ducts, water pipes, and just plain corridors that she didn't think she could memorize them all as fast as she wanted to. Just getting through level one's corridors was a weeks worth of information; no wonder it was recommended that the guards only be willing to take one position, but it hadn't looked so complicated when she'd gone in earlier. What was she getting herself into?

She rubbed her arms trying to rid herself of the chill she felt creeping down her spine. She needed to calm down, and think rationally about this. Kakashi was on level three, she should be focusing on the exits from that floor and the lines to such things.

But then again, if he was moved she'd need a basic know-how of all of the systems. She reached forward and pulled the map for the level four air vents, might as well start from the bottom.

~xxx~

Sakura smiled to the man standing in front of the door allowing access to level three. Perhaps she could use feminine charm to get past him?

"I can't let you through here Miss."

Sakura put her hand on her hip, "And why the hell not?"

"We had an incident. No one goes in or out."

"Who had an incident?" She sneered at him.

"Hatake Kakashi, ma'am."

"I'm here to see him, where is he now?"

"Padded room ma'am, no one is allowed."

Sakura scoffed, "I'm here under direct orders from your Hokage, sir! Kakashi Hatake is believed to have a rare mental illness, and I'm here to decide that, now I suggest you escort me yourself, or I'll tear this place apart looking for him. Is that understood?"

The guard panicked, "U-uh, yes, ma'am. Very clear, come along." He led her to a dark stairwell, that reminded her of those movies where people often got jumped and killed. She followed him down into level four. Top Security. Goody.

"What exactly happened to Hatake-san?" Sakura asked coolly, trying to sound as official as possible. Naruto was going to kick her ass for this, and Tsunade was going to kill her. All in a day's illegal work, she supposed, and if it meant saving him, then it was worth it.

The guard shrugged, "I'm not really sure, all I know is that he was tearing up his cell and just going crazy. He nearly killed one of the guards, and he injured a couple as well. What kind of psychiatric disorder do you think he has?"

Sakura silently cursed to herself, she hadn't thought about that, "It's very rare, and you've probably never even heard of it. It just makes it so he can't control his emotions at certain times, and when he's not a so angry, he seems aloof and reserved."

"That seems to fit the description." The guard commented, "Is it curable?"

"With proper evaluation, and therapy, yes."

"Then all the luck to you, Miss."

The guard led her into a dark corridor and into a dark room with a two-way mirror. She looked into the room through the glass and fought back the strangled whimper that threatened to escape at the sight.

Her sempai sat against the white wall, his arms bound across his chest in a straightjacket. His face was bruised, and dirty from his earlier scuffle, and Sakura couldn't help but feel pain for him.

Kakashi picked his head up as his acute hearing picked up the sound of the door into the watching room opened. He couldn't see through the mirror but he could hear whispers of the conversation behind the glass, and he sighed, they were having someone test him for psychiatric disorders. He wasn't crazy! He shimmied his way up the wall to a standing position to ready himself for the doctor.

Kakashi nearly fell over when he saw Sakura walk through the door.

"I think I can handle him boys." Sakura smiled politely to the guards escorting her, "Go do your job or something."

Kakashi watched wide-eyed as Sakura walked closer to him, the smile on her face reminded him of the smirk she used when she had forced him to go to the hospital in the past. Had she lied about getting him out?

"Hey Kakashi-sempai." She smiled, "I'm here to make sure your all in one piece up stairs, alright?" She winked at him when her back was to the mirror and he immediately relaxed and sighed.

"You mean if I'm crazy or not?"

"Yeah, that's what I mean."

He nodded, "Whatever, Doc."

Sakura shook her head, "I'm going to ask you a series of questions, and I need you to tell me the first thing that comes to mind, okay?"

"Yup, sure."

"When I say tunnels, you think…?" She rolled her hand so the guards behind the glass would think she was coaxing an answer from him.

"Mainstream Complexity."

"Um…" She faked confusion, "Alright. The number three?"

"Weeks."

"Color?"

"Dark."

"Okay…" She leaned forward and whispered so the guards wouldn't here, "The systems are very complex. It'll take three weeks just for me to memorize the air vents, not to mention corridors, water pipes, and hidden hidey-holes."

"They map hidey-holes?"

"Yeah."

He thought about it for a second, "Take one of my storage scrolls and store everything you can in it, that way when the time arrives, if you forget, you'll have the maps."

She took a step back, "You're abdominal systems seem to be working fine, Kakashi-san, now may I have a look at your head?"

Kakashi shrugged the best he could in the restrictive jacket, "Why the hell not, you seem not to give a shit about personal space anyway." He pulled back slightly when her hands reached out to his head, "You could've asked to touch my stomach too, you know."

"Shut up and hold still." She chided as she grabbed the sides of his head, and her hands started glowing green.

Kakashi relaxed again, the quiet hum of her chakra entering his head felt amazing, if he wasn't locked up he'd ask her to do this all the time. "Wow."

Sakura looked taken back, almost confused. Kakashi cocked an eyebrow and just stared back at her silently asking 'what?'

She shook her head, "Nothing." She said, keeping it to herself. Sakura pulled her hands back, "You seem to be in tip-top shape up there."

"Goody."

She rolled her eyes, "Though I do think you have an anger issue that needs to be dealt with, have you tried counting to ten before you go on a rampage?"

Kakashi smirked cockily, running his tongue along the inside of his bottom teeth, "Counting to ten? I could count to fucking infinity and back if I wanted to before I loose it." He hissed, "That's all I do in here, pinky, is count. The hours, seconds, breaths, voices, footsteps, everything."

Sakura put her hand on her hip, "I have all day, old man, lets here you do."

"Do what?"

"Count to infinity."

He laughed sarcastically, "I don't have the patience."

"Sad." She said turning around to face the door, "I'll be back with more…things tomorrow."

"I'll hold you to that." He replied.

"I know you will." She said before opening the door and walking out of the small padded room.

Kakashi slid back down the wall into a sitting position. She was risking everything trying to help him out. She had no idea what she was getting into. He looked at his reflection in the glass and started counting the number of people he put above his own life.

_One…_

_~xxx~ _

Well, I hope you liked that chapter guys. Chapter three is already written, I'm just editing it now, so it'll be up soon…

-regas


	3. Wise Words of the Deceased

Monster

~xxx~ Chapter 2: Wise Words of the Deceased ~xxx~

Sakura sat back in her lazy chair, rubbing her hands together, the odd sensations she'd felt when she'd examined Kakashi's head still had her fingers tingling. It was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. It made her shudder with the thought of it actually causing something in Kakashi to snap and make him loose control the way he had.

Kakashi was the definition of control, in her eyes. She'd never known him to be overly aggressive except when it came to his team, and even then under the most acute circumstances.

So what the hell happened to him?

If she had to venture a guess, she'd say it had to do with the anomaly she'd felt in the chakra paths in his head. She'd never read anything on it, and she'd certainly never felt anything like it. So what was it? Maybe it was the result of his Sharingan being inactive for so long, yet it still used chakra. They probably hadn't accounted for the fact that he kept it covered to prevent chakra exhaustion.

She looked down at her hands, "Well…" she whispered to herself, remembering the scrolls Kakashi had told her about. She could get them tomorrow morning before she left to see Kakashi again.

~xxx~

"Hokage-sama?"

Naruto looked up from the mission report on his desk, "Yes, Hideko-chan?" He said, smiling to his young assistant.

She smiled back nervously, "Hogami Mishiru, he runs your storage and library?" She waited for the nod that said Naruto knew who the man was, "He reported multiple maps and documents on Konoha's Prison were taken out."

"By whom?"

"A Miss Haruno Sakura."

Naruto looked down as he exhaled slowly, "Oh no." He looked back up with a fake smile on his face, "Thank you, Hideko-chan."

She nodded and left the office he now sat in. Naruto shook his head, "Sakura, what are you doing?"

He wanted to get Kakashi out just as bad as she did, but he had a duty to the village. What the elders said went. Even Tsunade thought he was better off caged. He however thought it was stupid; it would only piss Kakashi off more to keep him locked up. There had to be some medical explanation to why he'd attacked all those people and the village.

Naruto grabbed the rim on the wheels of his chair, and rolled himself backwards and around so he could look out the open bay window. He looked down over his village, his gaze sweeping from the training fields to the prison where his sensei was being held for betraying his village.

He'd keep Sakura's secret to himself, but he wouldn't cover for her if she were caught. His first duty was to his village, not his old teammates. He shook his head; he was lying to himself saying that. His first priority would always be his team. No matter what.

"Fuck." He muttered to himself before wheeling back around to finish working on the mission reports he'd received from ANBU.

~xxx~

Sakura tried to ignore the prying eyes of the guards watching her as she entered the small padded room in which Kakashi was being held. Why were prison guards such pigs?

Kakashi nodded to her with a faint smile and that half-moon eye crease, "Yo."

"Hey."

"So are you going to ask me more weird questions today, or are we going to get physical?" He said, ultimatum lacing his voice.

"God you are just as bad as the guards."

Kakashi's eyes widened, "What? Why, what'd they do?"

"Nothing I can't handle and nothing that concerns you. Now stand up." She insisted as she pulled on pale rubber gloves with a quick snap.

Kakashi eyed the gloves, "And those are for?"

"Technically I'm not supposed to touch inmates without gloves on; I could leave germs or something."

He nodded again, so she was hiding her fingerprints. She just got smarter and smarter, didn't she? "Are you implying that you have germs?"

"Of course not! I'm just saying I don't need to be sued by you, that's all." She told him as she took his chin in her hands and started examining his 'nodes with half-lidded eyes. "You have great facial structure," she remarked, as her fingers ran along his law line and her thumbs moved to his high cheek bones checking for irregularities in the bone.

He snickered at her, "Damn, I wish women would tell me that more often."

"If you didn't wear that stupid mask, they probably would." Her fingers curled into the black material. Kakashi's cold glare stopped her from pulling it down. "What?"

"Don't talk about the mask like that until you understand why I wear it every-single-day. Do you understand?" He ground out.

She nodded her head, "Okay." She pulled her fingers back from his face. "Everything seems to be fine," Her face was pink, the shade nearly matching her hair. "I'm going to remove the jacket Hatake-san, with permission from the guards of course," She looked back at the glass and waited for her answer from the speaker.

"_That's fine Miss Haruno."_

She nodded curtly, and turned Kakashi around so she could fumble with the straps and buckles. When she was through, and the jacket lay on the floor she couldn't help but smile at Kakashi as he stretched his arms out in front of him and above his head.

"That feels so much better."

Sakura smiled at him, "I bet. Now bend over and touch your toes." She commanded as she rolled her sleeves up to her elbows.

Kakashi did as he was told and bent forward, his palms flat on the floor. He shuddered when the cold latex of Sakura's gloves covering her fingers scooted underneath his shirt only to run along his spine and over his shoulders.

"You're hands are freezing." He hissed when they pressed against his hips.

"You know what they say: cold hands, warm heart."

Kakashi shook his head with a smile, "So let's say your hands are warm?"

"That means I'm a cold-hearted bitch."

"Just checking." He snickered.

Sakura sighed and pulled his shirt back down, "I'm done."

He inclined his head slowly, "Okay…what else?"

She tapped her chin in feigned thought for a moment, "We could sit here and chat?"

"That sounds lovely."

Sakura sat on the soft floor with her legs crossed, Kakashi with his knees pulled up to his chest.

Sakura started, "So...how bad is it in here, honestly?"

Kakashi thought about her question for a moment, "I suppose, when I'm not in the jacket," He gestured toward the restraint on the floor, "It's hellish."

Sakura smiled at him, "Oh well then, maybe I should get locked up too? Sounds better than a frozen over hell, at least the heaters in here work." She winced at the thought of her frozen apartment.

"Yeah, well…at least you see the light of day." He commented dryly.

She shrugged, "Is it all that great, some of us are creatures of the night."

"Ah, yes, I think I do remember my little vampire student. You still on that kick?"

Sakura couldn't help but blush with a slight giggle, "Yeah, sorta."

Kakashi reached forward and ruffled her hair, "So how is every one?"

"Aside from the people who absolutely abhor you, the couple of few who don't are doing fairly well."

He nodded, "That's nice. Hows, you know, Naruto?"

"He's doing okay; in a wheel chair, but he doesn't blame you. I don't think he can think ill of someone unless they're absolutely ruthless."

Kakashi's eyes slid from hers to the floor, "I had no control over what I did, Sakura. You have to understand that."

Sakura remembered the feeling in her hands, "I believe you. I just don't understand what made you do it."

"Neither do I, it's like…It's not even me, and I can't stop it." He whispered to her, "It's like there's something else inside my head."

Sakura shuddered at his use of words, "Yeah, Something else." She muttered to herself. She knew he could hear her, but he didn't press on the subject. "Do you get good food in here?"

"Sometimes." He murmured, "If the warden is in a good mood."

_Haruno-san, we're going to have to ask you to leave for today; we've already allowed you the allotted time to converse with Hatake. You can wrap it up another day._

She turned to the mirror gave a sneer to the men and turned back to Kakashi with a smile. "I'll be back tomorrow." She leaned in for a moment, "I'm going to talk to Naruto tonight and see if I can't pull some strings in your …testing."

He nodded, "More testing? You're just making my week!"

She ruffled his hair and stood to leave, "Bye."

"Bye."

Kakashi watched as she left and listened to the guards after he knew she was gone from the level four. They made comments on her sensuality and appearance and it pissed him off.

Kakashi took a deep breath as he began counting backwards from ten, trying to calm himself. _Ten…Nine…Eight_

A comment on her ass and how low the zipper on her vest was, and how she reminded him of a dancer in a club. _Seven…Five…Three...Zero. _

Kakashi felt himself leap across the room his fists banging mercilessly before his vision went black and his mind went blank. "Fuckers!" He hissed, his fists shattering the glass.

~xxx~

Sakura stood outside Naruto's office, debating whether or not she should knock. He was either going to kick her ass to Suna and back, or he'd agree with her.

Her riskier half got the better of her and knocked on the door.

"Enter." He called through to her.

She opened the door slowly and gave him a weak smile before closing it behind her and approaching his desk. "Hey." She waved.

He smiled up at her, "Hiya, gorgeous. What are you doing here so late?" He asked, looking up at the clock on the wall to his left.

"I was wondering if I could impose a leave on the prison, member zero-zero-three-seven-two-point-five." She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.

Naruto cursed, "That's Kakashi's number. We've been through this Sakura, he can't just leave, and the entire village wants his head."

"Put him on house arrest!" She thought out loud, "He can stay with me! I won't let him out of my sight!"

"That won't slide!"

"Then make it! You're Hokage, and he's your friend! Make it happen!" She yelled at him, fuming with anger. "He's going crazy in there! He's already attack a couple guards, become completely bitter. Hell he's rude to me. There is something going on in his head, I felt it," she held her hands up and shook them, making her point as clear as she could, "And it's not normal. I was actually jolted by his chakra, and I've worked on hundreds of lightning type chakra users and have never been zapped before."

Naruto rested his face in his palms, "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to help him, Naruto. I want you to get him out of that goddamned cell."

He sighed, "I'll see what I can do. No promises though."

Sakura leaned over the desk, "Do you remember what he told us, day one of our training?"

Naruto swallowed audibly, "Sakura-chan…"

"Do you?"

"No, not really." He answered ashamed of himself. "I know I should've though."

"Those who break the rules are scum, that's true, but those who leave their fellows behind are even worse than that. Ring a bell, Naruto. We can't just leave Kakashi…He wouldn't leave us."

Naruto shook his head, "He tried to kill me, Sakura, don't forget that."

"And I told you, he's got something wrong with him! Don't you listen? You need to get him out! Tonight! I don't care what strings you have to pull…just please do it!" Sakura begged. "For me."

Naruto sighed and closed his eyes, "Fine. But if I get my ass kicked, I'm kicking yours. Got it?"

Sakura jumped around the desk, her arms wrapping tightly around the hokage. "It's a deal."

Naruto's arms wrapped back around her, "I lied about not knowing."

Sakura just smiled and held her friend tighter, "I know."

Xxx

I didn't like that chapter too much, so I hope you did. Hmm, lets see, next chapter won't be up for a while, it's kicking me in the ass right now so…yeah.

-regas


	4. A Quizzical Question

Monster:

A/N: I wanted to thank all the people that reviewed on this so far, and those who favorited. It means a lot!

~xxx~ Chapter 3: A Quizzical Question ~xxx~

Sakura woke the next morning to three ANBU soldiers knocking on her door. Taka, Neko and Karasu. Neji, TenTen and Rock Lee. Sakura had to laugh at the originality of their names.

"God what did I do this time?" She asked, irritated that they would dare threaten to wake her so early in the morning.

The guard in the hawk mask spoke first. His voice was calm and collected, "The Lord Hokage is requesting your presence Haruno-san."

Sakura raised a single pink brow, "You don't have to be so formal so early Neji, really. Did he say what he wanted?"

The cat masked answered next, "Something about the retrieval of a number zero-zero…"

Sakura nodded, "What are we waiting for?" She inquired as she walked out the door, closing it behind her, "Lets go."

She hated ANBU escorts. They were always too pushy and in her personal space, it wasn't like she was going to run off on them and leave the village. Besides, it wasn't like she could out-run Neji, TenTen and Lee. She'd have to be crazy to think that the masked people to her sides and her front would let her get even ten feet away.

"So what exactly is this number that you're retrieving, a disclosed file?" The one in the crow mask asked smoothly. His voice showing no emotion, not even the slightest bit of curiosity, but Sakura knew it was there somewhere. "Perhaps a forbidden technique?"

Sakura shook her head, "It's classified."

"Awe, well." He replied.

"Where's Shikamaru?" Sakura casually asked noticing the fourth member of the team missing.

"Lord Hokage requested that he stay for briefing. He has a solo mission."

"I see."

~xxx~

Sakura said nothing as she was escorted into Naruto's office; she only bowed her head in respect and stood silently next to Shikamaru and his damned wolf mask painted with black swirls and black outlined clouds.

Naruto waved his hand, "Taka, Neko and Karasu, you're all dismissed."

The three ANBU nodded their heads and left respectfully.

Naruto looked up at Sakura, "You have three months to figure out what's wrong with him. He attacked three guards last night, broke an 'unbreakable' two-way mirror _with his hands _and tore up his padded confinement-cell. All in all, he did some serious damage without chakra; therefore Shikamaru is being assigned as your protection unit. He's the only ANBU member with no prejudice against the man that attacked his village. You'd better thank him for being willing to help you out."

Sakura sighed and turned to Shikamaru, "Thank you." She whispered, "You didn't have to do this." She managed a weak smile.

"Like my father said, he's not a man that would turn against everything he believes in on purpose." He answered her.

Sakura turned back to Naruto, "Are we picking him up, or is he being escorted?"

"He's in a solitary cell below the tower. You're to use a transportation jutsu to escort him to your home." Naruto hung his head, "It's all I can do for you Sakura-chan."

She nodded. "Thank you."

She and Shikamaru left without a word and made their way to the holding cells beneath the city.

"So, what do you think is wrong with him?" Shikamaru inquired coolly. "Naruto said you noticed some anomaly in his chakra?"

Sakura looked up at her taller friend as they passed through a security point; they waved quickly then went back to their conversation. "Well, it was an anomaly, I'll give it that. But I don't know if it's literally in his chakra, it should have affected other parts of his system besides his head by now." She wrapped her arms around herself shuddering at the chill she felt as they neared Kakashi's cell.

Shikamaru lifted his mask to the side, "Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi picked his head up, looking at the duo with interest. "God I must be in heaven. Sakura has brought another visitor." Kakashi said his voice laced thickly with sarcasm.

"Hey!" Sakura scolded, "We're on your side, so suck up that pissy attitude before I knock it out of you." She threatened coldly.

Shikamaru gave her a fleeting glance before looking back at Kakashi. "We're taking you to Sakura's house. You're under permanent isolation to her property until further notice. It's better than a cold damp cell."

Kakashi sighed and nodded, "That it is. Did you ever get your heating fixed?"

"No, but we brought over your clothes, so you'll have to put on a couple extra layers." She answered with a smile. "You ready to go?"

"I've been in a cage for three months, what do you think?"

Shikamaru shrugged at Kakashi's viciousness and unlocked the cell with a 'Kai, Shadow Release'. Kakashi stepped out and sighed as Shikamaru transported them back to Sakura's winter-wonderland of an apartment.

Kakashi looked around and smiled. It was nice to really be out of that damned prison. He turned to the duo again, "So what makes you think I didn't trash the village on purpose?"

The younger Jounin's exchanged glances before Sakura answered, "Well, There seems to be something wrong with the chakra flow in your head." She told him smoothly, "We don't know what it is, but we intend to find out."

"Great."

"Why don't you get some sleep, Kakashi? The spare room is yours, and there are extra blankets in the closet." She told him with a weak sigh.

Kakashi nodded and went to the room down the hallway, slamming the door behind him.

Sakura looked up at Shikamaru as she sunk to her couch, "Why is he so upset about this?"

The cloud gazer shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe because you sort of just told him the only reason he got out of there is because there is something wrong with him?"

Sakura rested her face against her palms, "Fuck. Well at least he's out of there, right?"

"Mm…he'll get over it. What do you think those rampages look like; I was out of town when he hit Konoha."

"I was out too, I came back to find out he was in prison the day after." She said with weak shake of her head, "I've been fighting for his freedom the last three months."

Shikamaru nodded, "I heard he was like a whole other person from some of the guards, he was like an animal."

"Like a monster." Sakura whispered to herself.

~xxx~

Sakura was surprised when she woke up to find Shikamaru and Kakashi sitting at her small kitchen table eating bacon so early in the morning. She did a double take as she poured herself a mug of warm tea.

"Where'd you guys get the meat?"

Shikamaru and Kakashi both exchanged glances before looking back at Sakura. "You didn't buy it?"

Sakura shook her head, "I don't remember buying any. I haven't been shopping in a long time…Was that in the fridge?"

They nodded their heads slowly…

"You might want to spit that out then…" She told them with a snicker.

"It tastes great." Kakashi muttered as he took another bite of the meat. "Better than that shit I ate in prison. Your shower is nice too; you have no idea what they want to do to a guy like me in a place like that."

Shikamaru spit his milk across the table and Sakura coughed as the last couple words left his mouth.

Shikamaru's eyes were wide in fear, "What'd they do?"

"You don't even want to know…terrible, horrible things! Things that give us nightmares…." He leaned in closer, "They take your pocky and…and they eat it. In front of you."

"You are so fucked up in the head!" Shikamaru belted out as he started rolling against the table with laughter; Kakashi's face still completely serious.

Sakura cocked an eyebrow and looked to Kakashi, "They take your pocky? How the hell do you get pocky?"

"We were issued a box every month. They go kind of like cigarettes…but those we had to sneak in." He answered composedly. "Speaking of which, you don't have any do you?"

"Cigarettes or Pocky?"

"Do I look like I'm in the mood for Pocky?"

She thought about it for a moment, "Yes."

Kakashi smiled fakely at her, "Then get me some damn pocky, woman."

"Who the fuck do you think you are? I am not getting you pocky, get it yourself." She asked astonished. "I got you out of prison, at least be grateful for it!"

Kakashi sat back in his chair and stared at her, "I want pocky."

"Get it yourself."

"No."

"Yes."

"I don't think so."

"Well I do."

"I don't."

"I do."

"I don't."

"Sakura…"

"Kakashi?"

"Sakura, now."

"I don't think so, Kakashi."

"Well I do."

"Sakura!"

"Kakashi!"

"Shikamaru!" The ANBU officer added with a smile.

Both Cell Number Seven members glared at him coldly. "Do you want to get the pocky?"

The cloud watcher held his hands up in defense, "I have to live here too; I just didn't want to be left out."

"What happened to the you that didn't care about anything?" Kakashi asked, irritated that he'd interrupted their conversation.

Shikamaru scratched his stubble-covered chin for a moment, "He doesn't like to be left out?"

"Ah, that explains everything." He said sarcastically, "Please let us finish, or go get the damned candy."

"I thought you didn't like sweets, Hatake."

"Pocky is fine. Who doesn't like pocky?"

"Why the hell are we arguing over pocky?" Sakura yelled over the both of them.

"Why the hell aren't you getting me any?"

"Get it yourself!"

Shikamaru stood up, "I will go buy some fucking pocky! You," He snarls pointing at Kakashi, "Don't kill her." He points to Sakura. "Sakura, Don't kill Kakashi. Got it?"

"Yeah." They answer in unison.

They both watch as he left before Sakura turned around and pulled a box of pocky from her cabinet tossing it at Kakashi. "Have at it."

He smiled, "So how long do you think it will take him?"

"To buy you pocky?"

"Well, when you said you wanted to talk to me alone, I figured I'd better come up with a good reason to get him out of the place." He said as he opened the small package. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"I was wondering if you had any medical history that involved trauma to your head."

"He had to leave for that?"

Sakura shrugged, "I also wanted to talk to you about the jolt I felt when I examined your head."

"Okay."

"It was a chakra based jolt, but...it was different, like it wasn't even your chakra Kakashi. It scared me." She told Kakashi as she sat across from him at the table, coffee mug in hand. "I think it might have something to do with your temper lately."

He nodded her words sinking in. "Okay, what do you suggest we do about it?"

"I suggest that we screen you for other mentalities and mind sets. Then we'll check your chakra flow and Ninpou points and make sure none of your lines are disconnected. Alright?"

"Okay, one thing though."

"Mmhmm?"

"What if something is wrong?" he asked wearily.

She sighed, "We'll deal with that when it gets here."

~xxx~

This chapter kind of kicked my ass. At least they are making progress now, right? Um, and Shikamaru just kinda didn't want to be left out. That's all I have to say at the moment, so until next chapter…

-regas


	5. Mind of A Soldier

Monster:

A/N: Sorry for the delay, everyone. I wish I could push it off on some amazing story, but sadly, no, the only thing I have to blame is my own laziness. My apologies, but, I hope this chapter really makes it up to you guys.

~xxx~ Chapter 4: Mind of a Soldier ~xxx~

Shikamaru watched as Kakashi lay out on the floor with his head in Sakura's lap, her fingers running through his hair, checking his chakra reservation lines. He seemed relaxed, and she hadn't jumped as if she'd been jolted yet. He was beginning to wonder if it wasn't Sakura's lines that had jolted themselves.

That is until her hands jerked from his unruly silver hair. He raised an eyebrow.

"Did you feel that Kakashi?"

He nodded but stayed silent.

"That's the jolt I'm talking about. It's almost like it gets stronger every time it gets me."

Kakashi sighed drearily. "What does it mean?"

"I'm not sure, but you went on one of your little rampages after I felt the last one. What provoked you?"

"The guards making racy comments about you I think." He told her, looking up into her eyes, "It was almost like I knew I was getting angry, and I tried to count myself down but then something changed and it was like watching from the inside and then everything went black."

She bit the inside of her cheek in thought before sitting back on her hands, "I'd like to see what these rampages look like. Do you think we could provoke you?"

He shrugged, "I don't see why not. I'm not sure why I started the whole rampage thing to begin with."

"I'd like it then if you were near me, Sakura. It's not that I think he'll hurt you, but it's a safety precaution." Shikamaru interrupted.

Sakura nodded, "Alright." She said standing, "What's something that pisses you off, Kakashi?"

"I don't know. All kinds of things."

Shikamaru's eyes met Sakura's and she nodded slightly, they'd discussed the plan earlier and knew what they had to do. She was double teaming Kakashi at the moment, and when he found out later, he wasn't going to be happy with her; but it was for his own good.

Sakura winced as Shikamaru's hand cracked across her cheek.

Kakashi sat up, watching them intently. What the hell was that? He felt that sinking angry feeling start, and started counting back from ten.

"What the hell was that for?" Sakura yelled at Shikamaru, noting Kakashi's alert reaction.

He shrugged, "You know exactly what that was for."

"I told you last night that I didn't want to! You think hitting me is going to make me crawl into your bed any faster?"

Kakashi slowly rose to his feet. His expression completely different from the one he'd had mere seconds ago.

Sakura looked back at Shikamaru and raised her brow.

"Kakashi?"

He didn't answer; he just stood there, eyeing the duo.

"Kakashi?" Sakura cooed softly, "Are you with us?"

Shikamaru slammed Sakura out of the way as Kakashi came at them, the usual humored light from his eyes completely gone, and new almost demonic shadow glinted in them now. It wasn't even Kakashi.

She watched in shock as Shikamaru and Kakashi battled against eachother, nearly matched in wit and strength.

"Stop it!" Sakura yelled as Shikamaru was forced back against her wall with a loud thump, Kakashi seeming to draw upon a hidden strength. He was like an animal the way he moved, the look in his eye. "Please stop! You're hurting him!" She could only watch as Shikamaru's face started turning red, his air cut off by the hand at his throat.

Shikamaru gasped as the hold around his neck lightened and pulled back completely. Kakashi stood panting staring absently at his feet as he slowly stepped back from the ANBU member. His gaze rose to Sakura's and she knew it was Kakashi's mindset again.

He trembled when she neared him, stepping back. "Don't touch me. I don't want to hurt you…" He demanded quietly, his eyes flickering to the man against the wall panting.

"I need to examine you!"

"No. Absolutely no."

"Please Kakashi, let me…" Her hands reached out and touched his arm and he flinched away, and stormed to his room at the end of the hall and slammed his door.

Sakura looked to Shikamaru, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine…Just winded. What the hell just happened?"

She shrugged and shook her head unbelievingly, "I think… we just saw the monster."

* * *

><p>Kakashi sat in the closet of his room, clenching his head with his hands. What had happened out there?<p>

He sat thinking, thinking of anything it could be and he slowly made the realization that _he_ had attacked Shikamaru in blind rage; but it wasn't him. He would never intentionally hurt someone he cared for.

He jumped with each jolt of chakra he felt and hissed with the pain of the small shocks. It was like something was trying to take over his head or at least it was trying to kill him. A small part of him wished it would hurry up already.

"_**Let me out."**_

Kakashi bolted upright at the dark voice, the guttural sound actually scaring him to his feet. He remembered that voice, but from where?

"_**Let me out!"**_

* * *

><p>Sakura sipped at her tea as she and Shikamaru talked over what was going on with Kakashi.<p>

"It could simply be a custom symptom of PTSD; he's been through a lot, you know."

"It's not that I don't think it's not, It just…It wasn't Kakashi holding me up by my neck." The Nara replied dryly. "I could go the administrative office and break into the full profile record kept on his family. Maybe it's genetic?"

She shrugged, "That's a good idea, family history might affect this. See what you can get on him."

"I don't want to leave you alone though."

"I can handle myself." She reassured him.

"Okay. I'll be back shortly." He was gone in a puff of smoke.

Sakura rolled the rim of the now empty cup against the table top, humming with thought as she tried to work through things. Kakashi wasn't crazy. Kakashi had killed many, many people. Kakashi didn't remember killing. This was so much to take in.

She sighed and thumped her forehead against the table surface, ignoring the sound of Kakashi walking down the hall.

"Sakura."-_**"Sakura."**_

She lifted her head and turned around, Kakashi stood, panting with the same homicidal look in his eyes like when he'd attacked Shikamaru. She'd heard two voices, one Kakashi's and the other dark and growling.

"Kakashi?" She swallowed hard, her hand going to the holster at her thigh. "Are you alright?"

"Kakashi who?"-**"Kakashi who?"**

The voices were in unison and Sakura pushed back from the table, moving closer to her counter as Kakashi started walking slowly forward. His shoulders were straight and back, not at all like Kakashi's normally slouched posture. If Sakura had ever felt true fear, it was nothing to what she felt now.

"Who are you?" Her voice trembled with the question as he glared from across the kitchen. "Kakashi!"

She could see the struggle in the man's eyes. Sakura wanted to cry, what ever Kakashi was fighting with, she wanted it to go away.

"Tell him to let me out, Sakura."-**"Tell him to let me out, Sakura."**

**~xxx-xxx-xxx~**

A/N; I promise I'll get the next chapter out sooner guys.


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